She didn’t save my life in the way you would expect.:Not by galloping to my rescue, teeth borne or by pulling me to shore from drowning. She saved me by existing, with her soft brown eyes and her sweet way.
A few years ago I moved to another state with a man I had know for 7 years. I had just started my own business and I was looking to save every penny. He and I had dated and only stopped when he moved. When he suggested I move in with him it seemed like the perfect time. My son was getting obsessed with video games and his tablet. We would be moving to a 29 acre farm with lots for my son to help with. I knew him for a long time he was great with my son and me. I trusted him.
Within days of moving I realized I made a mistake. he had totally changed. He started drink at 10am he was jealous of my relationship with my son and tried to get between us ( that wasn’t happening). He watched me constantly and demanded things that I didn’t want to do threatening to throw myself and my son out if I didn’t. He demanded that I go and get government benefits so that he could buy and sell steaks with that money. I was in shock. I started with Dr Jekyll and ended up with Mr. Hyde. I immediately started to make arrangements to get out of there. The problem was I was almost completely out of money and no one I knew would help. When I went to the benefit office they classified me and a victim of Domestic Abuse because of the the threats and the manipulation. They started to make arrangements for me at a shelter, meanwhile I had to stay as arrangements were being made. I knew one thing I wouldn’t leave my dog. They told me she could be in foster care when I was in the shelter. I had a backup plan just in case if there was a problem with placing her. I would take the money I had left put gas in the car, drive for as far as I could and then force one of our relative to send the money so we could get home. I was scared to death. Thankfully my Milu went into foster care with no problem.
My son and I went into a shelter we spent our last money on food, which didn’t last too long. Running out of food I was panicking. The most logical place for me to get a job was about 10 miles away I asked a woman from the domestic abuse center to take me. Her job was to monitor the shelter I was in. I had very little gas in my car and I was worried I wouldn’t make it back. She didn’t want to take me saying it wasn’t part of her job. Most of the people I met in that situation had the attitude well you are in the shelter what else do you want?
Part of the issue seemed to be that people in that area had family to call on. I had no one. So when the women were in this type situation up there I guess their relatives helped them. I asked about food pantries the center had no clue. I had to get on the phone can find them myself. The state was supposed to classify me and an emergency situation and grant me emergency benefits that didn’t happen.
I called a woman I got along with from the center and told her I need to get to the next town to get a job as soon as possible. She came and took me, god bless her, even though it was 40 miles out of her way. I got a job immediately but then there was no one to pick up my son up from school, no after care again this is where relatives step in and I had none.
after my son when to sleep I would cry and cry and cry and beg my mother in heaven to help me, to give me the strength to get through this. I just wanted to go and lay down in a dark street and have a truck roll over me so that I could be with my mother, who loved me I wanted to feel that love so badly. Here I was this loser that no one cared about. I had ruined my life and my son’s life. I just wanted t be with my mother who loved me.
Two thoughts that keep me out of that road. The fact that it would emotionally devastate my son for the rest of his life and I had to live to take care of that dog. She was a senior dog. she had benign tumors all over, ached, could only hold her pee for about 6 hours. No one would want her. I had to love to take care of her. She had been abandoned in a back yard for so many years no one could remember how long she was there. She struggled for life, she survived. She wouldn’t die because her mother couldn’t cut it. I had to live to take care of her and my son.
So I cried and I struggled. My son hid under tables and behind chairs from my unpleasant boss who forbid him from the store where I worked. I visited my dog at her foster home every week. She wasn’t doing well. She was at a rescue in a pack of about 10 dogs. She was very submissive, she was losing weight rapidly, the ends of her ears were chewed up. I had to get her out as soon as possible. In 4 weeks I found her a new foster home where she was the only dog. In 6 weeks I was out of the shelter and in 4 months I had saved the money to return to Florida.
When she crawled into that bed with myself and my son and we were back safe. I gave thanks for her soft brown eyes and her quiet strength that helped me through. She was all about her Mum. when I felt below nothing and there was no one to help. I knew she loved me. we relied on each other and made it through.
In the time since them I wouldn’t let anyone get close to me. I just relied on her. I would shre with her what i was doing, when I was excited, when i was sad. She was always there.
She taught me one last important lesson: to forgive. When her people abandoned her in that back yard she could have hated people and not forgiven them. She loved people and the second she was out of that back yard she forgave and forgot all about it. She was happy to be safe me me and my son.
I too could forgive.
A few months ago she passed from this world and I asked what would she want her legacy to be. i felt dumb asking that question because if you asked her what she wanted it would be chicken. But I realised the would want every abandoned and homeless animal like herself to have a chance to be loved and cared for. So I founded the Animal rescue organization MilusHouse.org. We are dedicated to saving the lives of Abandoned and Homeless Animals.
I will be walk 90 miles to Key West to raise money to support the organizations that rescue these lost souls.